Sigh.

Posted: September 24, 2012 in BlueBox

I will relate and explain anything metaphorically, nonsensically, spiritually and realistically. I can. I’m excellent at elaborating simple things, even make complex matters out of them. I can turn a sad tale into a hilarious one. I usually do for comfort. Life is too short to take it too seriously I would sometimes say.

What keeps me mum are certain tales of my own. I can start relaying my life in vivid details, I don’t mind- embarrassing or not. But when it starts to confuse me, I prefer silence, though it hardly happens. I always rather that I know the answers. Or so I thought I prefer so. But when I can’t answer my own marveling, I prefer the comfort of sleep, relying in the seemingly fast movement of the hands of time that I find a relief yet so dreadful at the same time. I am a coward like that. I hide behind the words I write to conceal as much reality as I can, with verbosity I can hardly comprehend myself.

It always bothers me to not know so I rather get hit by a war machine than be in hiding. I never liked needles, but I don’t like looking away and waiting for the tip to touch my vein neither. I rather know when it touches my skin. I rather stay. I used to prefer so. But not this. I just ran away. I just hid. I just let it be. I’m being a typical coward when it all started to baffle me.

Then it just dawned on me. To be so close to it, I’m reminded of how beautiful it was. How happy I was everyday. How I always look forward to it. Glimpses. That’s why I want to get away, because every time the same moment happens again, it hits a spot in me, and the moving on process resets itself over and over. It reminds me, how quite a few people strangely question my preferences and my supposed naïveté. For someone working on being an advocate for the positive things in life, I struggle at falling short on them when they finally become reality. Then before I know it, it would seem to be over, before I even realized it began.

posted from WordPress for BlackBerry®zy.

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